19August2008
Posted by Admin under: Economics; Real Estate.
Note to self — Never live in a remote mining town in Australia. Apparently theres a 5:1 Male:Female ratio there. Furthermore, the mayor is appealing to the ugly ducklings to move there. Why? Because with a ratio like that any desperate man would take even the ugliest woman. Yikes! Sounds like mining is a bad career choice.
13July2008
Posted by Admin under: Health; Science.
Men have a biological clock too. Male sperm count and quality begins to decline rapidly after 35.
13July2008
Posted by Admin under: Economics; Science.
According to Scientific American, bisexual behavior is common in the animal kingdom. One fascinating quote towards the end:
Stress and the greater availability of same-sex partners may similarly contribute to the practice of homosexual acts among self-described heterosexual humans in environments such as the military, jails and sports teams. In a study published this year in the journal Sex Roles, Anderson found that 40 percent of 49 heterosexual former high school football players attending various U.S. universities had had at least one homosexual encounter. These ranged from kissing to oral sex to threesomes that included a woman. In team sports, homosexuality is “no big deal and it increases cohesion among members of that team,” Anderson claims. “It feels good, and [the athletes] bond.”
22April2008
Posted by Admin under: Science.
According to Livescience, the USA ranks second to bottom for belief in Evolution. *Sigh*
19April2008
Posted by Admin under: Law; Risk Management.
According to the Baltimore Sun, a recent court ruling has changed how “rape” is defined. Apparently some poor punter is going to prison for 15 years because he stopped fingering a girl 5-10 seconds after she revoked consent. This is probably one of the most outrageous perversions of our so-called justice system that I’ve heard of in quite a while. Do men have any rights left in this country?? Whatever happened to punishment commensurate with the crime? How can someone get the same sentence for the fickleness of his partner that a violent kidnapper/rapist gets? What are rational men supposed to take away from this ruling?
My answer? Abstinence in MD and researching which other states have the same policy. Perhaps this video sums up our future.
5April2008
Posted by Admin under: Health; Science.
This is a good blog post about reasons to exercise.
5April2008
Posted by Admin under: Health; Science.
According to the Chicago Tribune, a recent review of the scientific literature shows inconclusive results about whether the “8 glasses” rule is necessary for optimal health.
23March2008
Posted by Admin under: Health; Science.
Recently a size 16 girl made it into a finalist round of the Miss England “Beauty” contest. The article tries to justify this by saying that this is a “normal” size/weight for a woman. That may be the case, tragically, but normal does not mean healthy or attractive. Normal means that the majority of the population could well be grossly overweight and suffering all the constellation of health problems associated with obesity. Compounding the problem is pulling an Orwellian vocabulary trick and simply redefining what “beauty” means rather than getting serious about fixing the problem.
Update 4/5/08: Can you bear it?? Bikinni shots!
The article also mentions her weight - 12 stone 8lbs (176lbs) at a height of 5′ 10″. That makes her BMI of 25.3 or within the overweight range. Her clothing size is 16. According to the sizing chart that makes a hip circumference of 43“. This is all assuming that the measurements are honest — and I am highly skeptical of that judging from her looks.
14March2008
Posted by Admin under: Editorials.
Dear Murdoch,
That’s a very interesting personal ad. I like it! You described exactly the way I want. I am 29, single, educated, cute and etc. I don’t have much more to say…I think we will be a perfect match based on your post.
I am Asian, 5′5, weight 115, presentable, educated, career and family oriented. I am a nice girl with warm heat, willing to give a lot to the right person. I love my profession very much..I believe one day I will love my partner more than my career..for now, career first.
I am looking for someone who is in the similar stage of life as me, who enjoys his career, fun to be with, spoil me and let me be a little girl, or be kinky. Someone who enjoys having sex, pleasure his partner. Someone who’s financially stable, don’t have credit card debts, ready to settle down with the right girl. Someone I can get to know, enjoy being with and might possible more to look forward. Someone who’s single, I meant mentally and physically single.
I am not looking for a sugar dad. Here’s the definition of spoil in my category: in the beginning of dating stage, guys should pay for most of things. if a guy pays, he might like you..if he doesn’t pay, for sure he doesn’t like you. We can talk about how women and men should be equal, but reality is: guys shall paid when he takes the girl out. I don’t like a guy being cheap on me.
One more thing: if don’t like the guy or don’t think there’s potential, I would not even want to go out have dinner with him. Why bother? I don’t want to waste my time, his time and money. Treat others like the way you want to treated. I am not here to play, I am not materialistic, I want someone who can take care of me and I can take care of him too.
Hope you don’t mind I am so direct. If you still like what I write, please share a picture. I will send mine after. “picture worth thousand of words”. If we are not attracted to each other, we can only be friend.
sweet dream!!
Thumb-on-the-Scale Girl
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Dear Thumb-on-the-Scale Girl,
One thing that concerned me about your email is that you want someone to “spoil” you. I am happy to spoil a girl by doing special things for her. For example, I put a lot of care into every date that I take a girl on. Each one is unique and special, and probably something she’s never done before. I am also very affectionate.
You say, “treat others the way you want to be treated” and then you talk about what you expect to take from a man, but not how you will reciprocate. It is clear how you want a guy to take care of you (spend money on you), but what does he get back? You haven’t said what he gets for his money. How will you take care of him?
I know many women want a “gentleman” who will buy them expensive dinners and gifts. However, a gentleman wants a “lady” who will reciprocate in a non-financial way. Will you be a traditional woman and sell housekeeping services? Cooking, cleaning, etc? I already have a maid that I pay $25/hour for. A typical date in XX in which you go to dinner and get dessert and wine can cost $100 or more in 2 hours, not to mention any entertainment you do afterwards. I would be a fool if I was willing to pay twice as much to an unqualified person for the same labor (maid services).
Do you think your time is more valuable than mine, and that’s why I should pay for the dates? That means you’re selling your time…and there’s professionals who do that who are models. If I have to spend $200-300 on a date, why not go for a better “value” and get someone who’s smoking gorgeous? Yes, that’s prostitution, which is for fools. Frankly the reality (to use your word) is that, “punani” is the 3rd most abundant resource on the planet behind air and water. Only fools pay for a resource that is free for all. Paying for punani is like paying for bottled water. All you get is a slick package, but often times the product is actually worse for your health than tap water. I guess you don’t realize that by taking this attitude that men have to pay for your time that you’re placing yourself in the same category as prostitutes.
Those are both very unpleasant ideas to consider. That’s why I like a girl who knows there’s a flip side of the coin in the “treat others the way you want to be treated”. I want a girl who will respect me and like me for who I am. I am not a walking ATM machine, and I will not subsidize her lifestyle. If she REALLY TRULY likes me, she will be happy to split the initial dates, or go on free ones. That’s because she enjoys my company for its own sake, and anything we do together is just icing on the cake. Then, once I trust her and we consider a long term relationship, we can negotiate our roles. If she is willing to adopt the traditional roles, I might consider paying for some things — but only at the market value of what she’s contributing back.
The bottom line is that the only healthy relationship is one that’s balanced between give and take. Sadly, American women are completely spoiled and selfish for the most part. They feel entitled to take more than they give. They justify this selfish behavior to themselves by saying that, “everyone else is doing it”. They constantly complain about the lack of “real men” out there. They want this man who is confident, successful, handsome. Someone with strong morals and backbone who will stand up to injustice. However, when they meet someone like that and it is they who are causing the injustice, they call him “cheap”. Ah, I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning!
One final note: the etiquitte of responding to a personal ad is that the person who responds to the ad sends their picture first. Since I posted the ad, I would appreciate if you sent yours first, and then I will send mine in return. Women often complain about my insistence on this topic, saying things like “I feel uncomfortable sending my photo to a stranger”. Well DUH! So do I! How do you think I feel when I respond to your ad? The photo issue is just yet another example of women being selfish.
How ironic that Thumb-on-the-Scale Girl can quote the Golden Rule, and then attempt to tip the balance in her favor so shamelessly.
Exasperated,
Murdoch
14March2008
Posted by Admin under: Editorials.
Dear Murdoch:
My friend Virtuous Girl is depressed because all the men she’s been meeting seem to be shallow, materialistic, and just out to use her body. Mother Hen has pointed out that it sends the wrong message to date men that a woman meets in bars. Virtuous Girl has decided that the most important thing is the values a man lives by. She’s wondering if she will end up single, but would rather be single than marry the kind of guy she’s been dating.
Out of advice,
Idealistic Parishioner
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Dear Idealistic Parishioner,
Virtuous Girl lamenting that men just want her for sex is like me lamenting that women just want me for money. There is a large of amount of truth to that. GoldenPeach Girl would be case study #1; when she dumped me she was explicit that it was because I wasn’t spending enough money on her. Everyone’s big fear is being used. Women such as Virtuous Girl are afraid of the “playa”. He’s that guy who’s out trophy hunting. In many cases (such as Turtle Girl’s) women will go to an extreme to protect themselves by picking submissive men. That route has its own pitfalls of the man “leeching” off of her. The women are so afraid of a strong personality taking advantage, that they can’t see the good that a strong personality could offer. Men are afraid of the “gold digger”; a girl who has no intention of entering into a relationship with him, but will lead him on with flirting in order to get free entertainment and gifts. Often she’s secretly having sex with “alpha males” in the form of muscular “thugs”. The extreme of this behavior is her having two boyfriends, a “cuckold” and a “bull”. By our age, almost everyone has been burned once or many times by a playa or gold digger.
There’s a few common emotional reactions after yet another break up:
* Anger directed outwards - This is the “I’ll get mine before they get theirs” attitude. This becomes a race to the bottom where the victim becomes the predator. If two people of this mentality end up together there’s a contest; how much money can she get from him without “putting out” (and the inverse for him). Another variant is the “revenge” motive. In this case the person becomes a “stalker” and sends nasty letters or otherwise tries to get back at their ex.
* Anger directed inwards - These people withdraw from dating and pour all their effort into advancing at work and on the social ladder. They hope to climb the desirability ladder and have better selection later. This is bad as well because their new worldly success will only be all the more enticing for the wrong sort of people.
* Despair - Perhaps what Virtuous Girl is experiencing. Similar to the above, but instead of being motivational it leads to depression. This is bad because it is giving up.
* Fantasy escape - “I’ll move to greener pastures”. One of my Google friends has made about 1 Million in stock options and was engaged to a girl who turned out to be a gold digger. Plus, she was cheating on him with a thug. He’s naturally heart broken and his response is to move to Singapore where he grew up to find a “traditional submissive Asian wife”. His reasoning is that if dating is just a commodities market, and women are only interested in him for his money, he will arbitrage his value by moving somewhere where the girls have a lower standard of living. That way he can trade his money for a “maid” at the best value. This is bad because problems follow you.
The next step is “rationalizing” what happened. This process involves focusing on all the negative things the other person did, though occasionally folks are introspective enough to put some of the blame on themselves. I recently went through this process myself. First, I said, “Most women are like GoldenPeach Girl and just want money, that’s how they’ve been raised so I can’t blame them”. Next I blamed myself for noticing but not taking action on various red flags. For example, I got her a lavish Christmas gift that showed genuine effort, yet she got me some tourist kitch from HK. I also took her on (a direct quote) “the best dates in my life”. We went to a chocolate truffle maker’s kitchen on Valentine’s Day weekend to learn how to make truffles. She never planned an equivalent date. Based on advice from Turtle Girl and Ice Queen, I took a risk and allowed her to run up a “tab”. Their opinion was that as the man I have to show leadership and eventually she will come around. I feel remorseful for ignoring my own advice and not dumping her preemptively based on my “three strikes you’re out” gold digger filter. I stated explicitly when we first started dating that I want a relationship balanced between give and take. How this balance is played out is negotiable; it doesn’t necessarily have to be financial. For example, If I pay for most things, then I hope for reciprocation such as her writing a love letter or cooking me dinner. However, in her case she was making only 10% less than me and was turned off by the “traditional submissive woman” role. Thus we agreed to go dutch. Yet, as the relationship evolved, I was consistently taking her out on far better dates in XX than she was taking me to in YY. In my mind she was taking much more than she was giving, but in her mind apparently I wasn’t giving enough. She resented paying for anything at all even though she agreed to it. She is a classic example of a gold digger — a woman who wants all the attention and resources flowing one direction towards herself.
If Virtuous Girl remains in despair too long, her negative attitude will scare quality men away. Women have been conditioned to be passive in the initial encounter. This is the principal problem in meeting “quality” men. In general, only the aggressive playas will approach, because they’ve been rejected so many times they have become desensitized to it. Women have no appreciation for the bravery it takes to say hi to a girl in public and the utter humiliation rude women have put the average guy through. I clearly remember a girl loudly stating, “you don’t deserve to talk to me” and all her friends laughing at me. This is quite common.
If Virtuous Girl wants a guy who’s not a playa, she’s going to have to be positive and proactive. She has to take responsibility for screening for the qualities she wants instead of letting the man pick her. Most women have a “piss off and die” public face that they’ve unconsciously developed over the years in order to screen out inappropriate men. Unfortunately this is a crude tool because it screens out everyone except the boldest playas. That’s the law of unintended consequences in effect. Perhaps Virtuous Girl needs to learn how to selectively turn off the “bitch shield” (as men call it) when she sees someone interesting. Men generally aren’t very sensitive to women’s subtle signaling, so Virtuous Girl should send an unmistakable invitation. This would involve turning to face him, having open body language, and making eye contact. Once eye contact is established, a warm smile is in order. If he’s still hesitant, a nod of the head to beckon him over might be appropriate. If Virtuous Girl wants to be even more proactive, she should consider “opening” a guy. Many guys will find a girl initiating conversation both highly unusual and flattering.
Once in conversation she should drop in screening statements or questions.
The typical gold digger asks things like:
* “What’s your job?” (Correct answer is executive management, lawyer, fireman, or celebrity. AKA, how much money do you make and how powerful are you?)
* “What zip code / neighborhood do you live in?” (AKA, how nice is your place and are you BSing about the job?)
* “I like a chivalrous man / gentleman” (AKA, I like a guy who will spend lots of money on me and show deferential behavior to me.) An even more aggressive version of this attitude is adopting a nickname such as “Princess”, “Queen”, or “Goddess” online.
My screens are:
* “Do you like dogs?” I’d follow with a conversation about how she would treat the dog. (AKA, are you warm-hearted, and would you make a good wife and mother?)
* “What do you do for a living?” (AKA, a softer form of the above that’s not focused on title. This is followed by a visual inspection of what she’s wearing. If she’s wearing Gucci, Prada, and LV head to toe, and she’s not at least equivalent to me in her career, then I assume she’s got a large credit card bill and is looking for a guy to pay it off. In business parlance that’s a “lifestyle audit”, also used by the IRS to detect tax cheats.)
* “What do you to to stay active?” (AKA, are you healthy and motivated)
* “What’s the nicest thing you’ve done for an ex?” Followed by, “Was he surprised?” (AKA, Is she giving? How often?)
In Virtuous Girl’s case she might say things like:
* “I go to Church every Sunday” (AKA, she’s traditional and not looking for casual sex. However, be careful not to appear frigid.) To soften this she could say, “I go to Church with my family on holidays” (AKA, I was raised traditionally, but I still like to have fun.)
* “I love playing with my cousins/nieces/nephews/friend’s kids” (AKA, She likes and wants kids. In men’s parlance that would be, “the biological clock is ringing; tag, you’re it”). Talking about kids too soon is a red flag to most men because they see someone who is a grown up party girl that just wants to get hitched ASAP to anyone with a large, stable paycheck. There is actually a book called “The Rules” that explains the process to find a high achieving geek with no backbone, aka a “provider”.
* “All my friends are getting married. I’ve been to X weddings this year!” (AKA, she wants to get married too, ASAP.)
Rule of thumb: one of the above casually inserted into the conversation at an appropriate time should be plenty. She shouldn’t be too obvious or use too many screening questions or else she will seem like a “Rules Girl” (unless she wants a “Rules Boy”). If the guy hasn’t excused himself immediately after hearing any of the above, he’s worth talking to more and possibly exchanging numbers with. Guys who respond to the above positively and also have a backbone don’t like “game playing”. Typical girl games from The Rules are: “Wait 3 days to respond to his message”, “Never answer the phone after Wednesday” etcetera (and yes, I have read the book for “counter-intelligence” purposes =) The premise being that men like to chase and she should manipulate his perception of her by being unavailable. Instead, she should be available and responsive, but also be explicit on who she is and what she wants. Finally, be clear on what she has to offer back. Women usually fall into the “I’m testing him” mentality but don’t realize that they have to market themselves in return. If she says, “I want to take it slow, fall in love, and eventually settle down”. What does he get in return? Will she be the wife who contributes nothing to the relationship and watches Oprah all day? Or will she be the wife who sends him a text message before an important meeting, saying “I love you and kick some ass!” Let me tell you…simple things like that are powerful because they are so rare (in my experience). I’d probably propose to a girl who displayed that type of behavior consistently.
One final overly “guyish” thought: The quickest way to feel better is to take action. Do something different and focus on a solution. Focusing on the problem and wallowing in your emotions only makes it worse. Every time I experience a break up I do a “post mortem analysis” (to use business jargon)…I list out the positives and negatives, and then list action items to remediate the negatives by adjusting my approach. I don’t want to do the same thing I’ve been doing because it is obviously not working.
Hoping for the best, but planning for the worst,
Murdoch