14 March 2008
Selectively Applying the Golden Rule
Posted by Admin under: Editorials .
Dear Murdoch,
That’s a very interesting personal ad. I like it! You described exactly the way I want. I am 29, single, educated, cute and etc. I don’t have much more to say…I think we will be a perfect match based on your post.
I am Asian, 5′5, weight 115, presentable, educated, career and family oriented. I am a nice girl with warm heat, willing to give a lot to the right person. I love my profession very much..I believe one day I will love my partner more than my career..for now, career first.
I am looking for someone who is in the similar stage of life as me, who enjoys his career, fun to be with, spoil me and let me be a little girl, or be kinky. Someone who enjoys having sex, pleasure his partner. Someone who’s financially stable, don’t have credit card debts, ready to settle down with the right girl. Someone I can get to know, enjoy being with and might possible more to look forward. Someone who’s single, I meant mentally and physically single.
I am not looking for a sugar dad. Here’s the definition of spoil in my category: in the beginning of dating stage, guys should pay for most of things. if a guy pays, he might like you..if he doesn’t pay, for sure he doesn’t like you. We can talk about how women and men should be equal, but reality is: guys shall paid when he takes the girl out. I don’t like a guy being cheap on me.
One more thing: if don’t like the guy or don’t think there’s potential, I would not even want to go out have dinner with him. Why bother? I don’t want to waste my time, his time and money. Treat others like the way you want to treated. I am not here to play, I am not materialistic, I want someone who can take care of me and I can take care of him too.
Hope you don’t mind I am so direct. If you still like what I write, please share a picture. I will send mine after. “picture worth thousand of words”. If we are not attracted to each other, we can only be friend.
sweet dream!!
Thumb-on-the-Scale Girl
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Dear Thumb-on-the-Scale Girl,
One thing that concerned me about your email is that you want someone to “spoil” you. I am happy to spoil a girl by doing special things for her. For example, I put a lot of care into every date that I take a girl on. Each one is unique and special, and probably something she’s never done before. I am also very affectionate.
You say, “treat others the way you want to be treated” and then you talk about what you expect to take from a man, but not how you will reciprocate. It is clear how you want a guy to take care of you (spend money on you), but what does he get back? You haven’t said what he gets for his money. How will you take care of him?
I know many women want a “gentleman” who will buy them expensive dinners and gifts. However, a gentleman wants a “lady” who will reciprocate in a non-financial way. Will you be a traditional woman and sell housekeeping services? Cooking, cleaning, etc? I already have a maid that I pay $25/hour for. A typical date in XX in which you go to dinner and get dessert and wine can cost $100 or more in 2 hours, not to mention any entertainment you do afterwards. I would be a fool if I was willing to pay twice as much to an unqualified person for the same labor (maid services).
Do you think your time is more valuable than mine, and that’s why I should pay for the dates? That means you’re selling your time…and there’s professionals who do that who are models. If I have to spend $200-300 on a date, why not go for a better “value” and get someone who’s smoking gorgeous? Yes, that’s prostitution, which is for fools. Frankly the reality (to use your word) is that, “punani” is the 3rd most abundant resource on the planet behind air and water. Only fools pay for a resource that is free for all. Paying for punani is like paying for bottled water. All you get is a slick package, but often times the product is actually worse for your health than tap water. I guess you don’t realize that by taking this attitude that men have to pay for your time that you’re placing yourself in the same category as prostitutes.
Those are both very unpleasant ideas to consider. That’s why I like a girl who knows there’s a flip side of the coin in the “treat others the way you want to be treated”. I want a girl who will respect me and like me for who I am. I am not a walking ATM machine, and I will not subsidize her lifestyle. If she REALLY TRULY likes me, she will be happy to split the initial dates, or go on free ones. That’s because she enjoys my company for its own sake, and anything we do together is just icing on the cake. Then, once I trust her and we consider a long term relationship, we can negotiate our roles. If she is willing to adopt the traditional roles, I might consider paying for some things — but only at the market value of what she’s contributing back.
The bottom line is that the only healthy relationship is one that’s balanced between give and take. Sadly, American women are completely spoiled and selfish for the most part. They feel entitled to take more than they give. They justify this selfish behavior to themselves by saying that, “everyone else is doing it”. They constantly complain about the lack of “real men” out there. They want this man who is confident, successful, handsome. Someone with strong morals and backbone who will stand up to injustice. However, when they meet someone like that and it is they who are causing the injustice, they call him “cheap”. Ah, I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning!
One final note: the etiquitte of responding to a personal ad is that the person who responds to the ad sends their picture first. Since I posted the ad, I would appreciate if you sent yours first, and then I will send mine in return. Women often complain about my insistence on this topic, saying things like “I feel uncomfortable sending my photo to a stranger”. Well DUH! So do I! How do you think I feel when I respond to your ad? The photo issue is just yet another example of women being selfish.
How ironic that Thumb-on-the-Scale Girl can quote the Golden Rule, and then attempt to tip the balance in her favor so shamelessly.
Exasperated,
Murdoch
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